Back To The Trap House

Next time you roll a joint, blunt or smoke a bowl and someone asks why? Say "Just Balancing my range" or "I get high to balance out the lows".

Boy I have been going on a ridiculous tear of partying since I went to my friends bachelor party in Vegas back in April. Side Story: I had just moved back from that place after moving there with my friend Kai and another one of his students Eric. I lost a bunch of money got all Emo and came back to Colorado a broke ass and somewhat chubby. I think I lasted like 2.5 months or so.....

So, to say I was somewhat disgusted with myself and Vegas would be a huge understatement.

Somewhat off topic: it's fuckin weird when your friends start getting married. I'm deathly afraid of marriage and babies. Babies are gross looking for like 6 months after birth. That's the last thing I want in my life right now. First things first is better myself and then maybe when I'm like 35 or 40 knock up a fly young chick fresh outta college. That's the way to go kids!

Back to my ridiculous bender of partying or what I like to call "Balancing my life range". 

I used to get really down on myself for getting all bad and going out all the time. I'd always say to myself that I should be doing something more productive. Well this is the most productive thing I could be doing. Why? Because its fuckin fun and everyone needs to go out and have a good time. Everyone needs to balance their range.

Funny Story: I took a mystery pill on Saturday night at this club in Downtown Denver called Beta. Oh BTW, if you come across blue, yellow and orange pills with a saint symbol on them DO NOT TAKE THEM!!! Anyways, We got a table and like 4 bottles so we could enjoy the DJ away from all the gross sweaty dudes bumping into us. And yeah, maybe we could meet a girl or two. I took a few laps around the club looking for some talent only to be disappointed by the excessive amount of men in this club and decided to stumble back to my table and relax for a little.  Too my surprise I find a man doing what I can only describe as some sort of weird seductive dance with the air. I mean if there was another man in front of him it would've been the pretty close to the money shot in a gay porn. Not that there's anything wrong with that........

I was fucked up and the last thing I wanted to see was a gay guy drinking off our bottles trying to have "air sex". I'm the type of guy who likes to look at ass and titties dancing, not cock and balls giggling. I guess thats looked down upon these days. I asked him to please leave. He really didn't take it very well and said "What don't you like about my dancing?" I'm not homophobic and I don't hate gay people. This isn't Americas next best dance crew. I don't give a fuck about your dancing I was just way too fucked up and having  the worst roll of my life, I explained. I told him I was sorry and to please leave. He refused to leave and said something like "I can dance wherever I want to" and I say 'Yeah, you can but not at my table that I paid for, please leave". The arguing turned into me telling him to get the fuck away from me and people separating us. I wasn't looking to fight or even argue, just to relax.

He left the table area only to round up his gay crew and stood in front of the table and began to talk shit about me. What the fuck is this high school? I left the area because I just couldn't handle it only to come back a few minutes later to him and his friends back in our area. This time he said he wasn't going to move and that he would continue dancing here. I told him to leave AGAIN and he started yelling and waving his arm furiously like a stereotypical gay guy in a movie. This time his friends joined in and I bolted off to have a cigarette. Meanwhile everyone is trying to explain to this guy that I'm not a homophobe but that I paid for this table and that I was just too fucked up. Everyone else seemed to understand except him.

I have never in all my life seen such an angry gay guy EVER lol. He was one of the more stereotypical gays I had ever run across. I told him I was sorry like 20 different times but he just wanted to play the I'm gay here me roar card. He came back AGAIN and I had to ask security to remove him. Security told me next time he comes back to punch him in the back of the head lol. All his friends came up to me and apologized. 

Haha, even though I didn't have a very good time I love nights like these. They make for funny stories later on! So, next time, if you ever feel down and just want to let loose, party and be a degenerate, chalk it up to balancing your life range. You'll thank yourself for it later!

The End

Music suggestions: My friend John "KasinoKrime" Beauprez always suggests good music in his blogs. I'm going to steal his idea and suggest some myself. Go fuck yourself Johnny ; )

Before my party bender I was mostly a rap and hip hop guy. Ever since my taste has tipped over towards electronic music. Go Figure.......

Emancipator-Shook ones. Download or buy both of Emancipators CD's. Its really soothing music and good for grinding out!

Pretty Lights-Finally Moving

Cookin' Soul-Wonderback.  You can download this for free. Its a mash up of oasis and jay-z. I highly suggest doing so. Not as good as the grey album but pretty good.

The Hood Internet-Again, download his mixtapes for free!

DatsiK-Jenova Project, swagga and nuke em.   This is some really dirty hard core music. Not everyone will enjoy. Try listening to it really fucked up and thank me later.

Ghostland Observatory-Silver City, Sad Sad City and robotique majestique

Crystal Castles-Baptism, Vietnam, Untrust Us