August 01, 2011
Was clearing out my inbox and found an old email that I thought I would share after a few requests.
Short context: About 7 months ago, I was moving into a new place and moving halfway across the country (US). Instead of trying to organize an elaborate move, I did what any degen would do- order new stuff. Needed a desk and chose the great value at walmart.com! Really they have some decent furniture for good value...obviously nothing fancy, but it works. That is, if you can get them to give it to you.
I ordered a desk fitting of my needs. A week or so later, a box arrived. It had a picture of my desk on it. I took the heavy ass box upstairs and opened it. Much to my delight, it was not a desk inside at all. It was a bike rack. You know, one of those bike racks that fit on the back of your car, designed to carry your bikes on trips. With no evidence of a desk in the desk box, I decided to inquire. The short of it is, they gave me the run around, telling me I had to return the mistaken shipment before getting the correct package, had to take the box to a store/post office and they wouldn't pick it up, etc... After reasoning with them to a satisfactory degree, that was it. I got the desk soon thereafter, and after a few weeks, took the bike rack to the post office.
Several days after I shipped off the bike rack, I got a third email from them regarding the time limit surrounding my bike rack return. I will start with that email.
from Walmart.com Help email@example.com
subject Your walmart.com order
We have not yet received the Allen Sports Five Bike rack carrier that you recieved instead of your 3-Piece Glass Computer Desk, Black/Black in order 376006980253 into our returns center. Please verify (how/when) item was returned. If item is not received by March 18, 2011, you will be recharged.
If we may be of further assistance, please email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Walmart.com Customer Care
I really didn't like getting yet another reminder of their failure to properly serve me.
I'm sorry to hear that you haven't received the Bike Rack that you mistakenly sent me. I was told I would get a label in the mail to attach for return, but that never came. As such, approximately 1 week ago (perhaps longer at this point), it was shipped using the printed return label from the automated emails.
To ensure that you believe that I have sent this item in for return from the specified location, I provide you with the following pieces of evidence:
1) This is the closest post office location to where I am located, and I am one lazy asshole, so let's face it...I'm not taking it anywhere else. You couldn't pay me to go to another post office location right now, and there are few or no buildings in between this apartment and that post office. Doubt I'd want to carry that thing any further than Walmart has already forced me to.
2) I don't have a car. What on earth would I want with that bike rack?
Below are the details of the post office from which it was shipped. I had a lovely conversation with a portly female poster worker there, who told me that I put the sticker on the wrong part of the box (on the side, instead of on the flat front surface). She drew an arrow to the sticker using a permanent black marker (I can't remember the make of the marker, it was one of those long, thick permanent black markers with a fat base- know which one's I'm talking about?) She confirmed that I could ship the item from that post office location (Details below), and then sent me on my way. Afterward, I stopped by "Dunkin' Donuts" for an egg and cheese on a plain bagel, toasted, with a large black coffee (#5 FTW!). It was delicious, but as usual, I was hungry 3 hours later for my daily "Art of Pizza" run. I wish I remembered what the dinner special was that day. I'll get back to you on that.
Anyways, I hope this is sufficient, and I hope you all receive that bike rack in due course.
Very truly yours,
Post Office™ Location - GRACELAND POSTAL STORE
3024 N ASHLAND AVE
CHICAGO, IL 60657-3012
Fax: (773) 404-6936
for hearing impaired
A few hours later.....
Thank you for contacting Walmart.com regarding having returned the bike rack.
We have updated your account to show that the item has been returned to us. You will not be recharged for this item. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.
If we have not fully answered your question or you have additional questions, please reply to this email.
Walmart.com Customer Care
I thought that was the end of it, but then I got an automated email confirming that the warehouse actually received my bike rack 9 days after the above email was sent to me. #winning.