Tommy Angelo
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Freeness Airline
On June 19, I woke up in Ohio and I went to bed in California. Meanwhile, there were delays. My flight from Cleveland to Houston was a little late getting off the ground, which gave me only 20 minutes or so to walk from gate E14 to gate C32 at the Houston airport, a distance of eight restrooms and two Starbucks. When I got to gate C32, they were still boarding. I stood in line. I scuffled forward with my linemates. I handed my boarding pass to the attendant. The machine rejected my pass. “Where do you think you are going?” she asked. There have been many answers to this question over the years. Now I understand that there was, is, and forever shall be only one answer. “I am already there.” But I didn’t think that was the best answer in this situation, so I said, “San Francisco.” The attendant said, “Well this plane is going to New York. The gate for your flight has been changed. Your flight is departing from Gate 42. Walk back to the intersection and turn right.” She pointed toward a distant Starbucks.
I started walking like a trotting horse struggling to contain a gallop. Then I remembered. It’s all about just remembering. I remembered that nothing matters, as does everything. I remembered that if I miss my flight, I will retain total control over my own disappointment. I remembered that I have been training myself and taming myself for five years so that the thought of and the act of spending the night in an airport not only doesn’t hurt, but is actually perceived as and cashed in as an opportunity for even more training and more taming. Suddenly, I was walking calmly to gate 42, and I was smiling at people and myself, because I was free. There was nothing to fear at gate 42. So I was naturally experiencing the journey, because there was simply nothing else to do.
As I approached gate 42, I saw a standing crowd, so I knew my plane had not left yet. Years ago, I would have been walking quickly and nervously to gate 42, and upon seeing the crowd, I would have felt a huge sensation of relief. This time, seeing that I had not missed my flight gave me a very small tinge of relief, which I have come to understand to mean that I would have felt an equally small amount of anxiety had there been no crowd. And that’s what this is all about, this mindfulness thing. It’s about little or no anxiety or unhappiness about anything, even major physical damage or illness.
The woman with the microphone told us that the flight crew wasn’t here yet. The crew would be leaving nearby Hobby Airport soon and they’d be here in an hour or two. The crowd produced a collective groan. And now I had a fresh excuse to feel frustrated and disappointed. Which meant I had a new opportunity to put my training into practice. And I did. I stood tall, and I breathed in with full awareness that I was breathing in, and when I breathed out, I sent compassionate waves of understanding and mending to my crowd mates. It’s okay. It’ll be all right. We’ll get where we are going eventually. Let’s just relax together and enjoy the ride as best we can.
published Jun 22, 2008 2:32am by Tommy Angelo, Tommy Angelo
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- dildog
- Set of Deuces
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324 posts
Joined 01/08
i like this article... makes you not mind losing 10 buy ins, almost...
- TomJetland
- Deuce High
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3 posts
Joined 04/08
What you did was opposing your emotions by counteracting the way they wanted you to. By doing that, you did not maximize the probability of reaching the gate in time. This way, your emotions had a more negative influence on you as if you had listened to them.
Seeing this situation "as an opportunity for even more training and more taming" does not sound much different to me than slowly grabbing the mouse, which fell off the desk, while having the nuts on the river in an online game with the opponent pushing all in and you having only 2 seconds left to call, just to defy emotions.
There is another way to calmness: Recognize the things you cannot change and the things you can. Applied on your situation that would mean recognizing that you have direct influence on the probability of you getting your flight, but cannot change the result, once there, whatever it may be.
- HaiaN
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43 posts
Joined 01/08
What you did was opposing your emotions by counteracting the way they wanted you to. By doing that, you did not maximize the probability of reaching the gate in time. This way, your emotions had a more negative influence on you as if you had listened to them.
Seeing this situation "as an opportunity for even more training and more taming" does not sound much different to me than slowly grabbing the mouse, which fell off the desk, while having the nuts on the river in an online game with the opponent pushing all in and you having only 2 seconds left to call, just to defy emotions.
There is another way to calmness: Recognize the things you cannot change and the things you can. Applied on your situation that would mean recognizing that you have direct influence on the probability of you getting your flight, but cannot change the result, once there, whatever it may be.
I like this
- KittyLiquor
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1 post
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Pass it this way, please.
-----------Kitty
- LuckyDevil
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3 posts
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Good article. I have one question. You said you walked calmly to the gate, when before you would be walking quickly and nervously. Does calmly mean at a calm pace? If so, wouldn't it be better to walk quickly maximizing your expectation to make your flight, yet you could still keep your inner calm, knowing that it would be okay even if you did miss your flight and you did every thing that you could to make it and that everything would will be alright?
- Tommy Angelo
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57 posts
Joined 10/07
Good article. I have one question. You said you walked calmly to the gate, when before you would be walking quickly and nervously. Does calmly mean at a calm pace?
It means at a calmer pace than I would walk if I were walking mindlessly, towed by an anxious mind. It doesn't mean slowly. It means consciously. In terms of actual pace, I'd say I was walking 10 to 15% slower than my fastest walk, which is still a fast pace, yet unhurried one step at a time.
Tommy
- TheBeloved
- Deuce High
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54 posts
Joined 01/08
What you did was opposing your emotions by counteracting the way they wanted you to. By doing that, you did not maximize the probability of reaching the gate in time. This way, your emotions had a more negative influence on you as if you had listened to them.
Seeing this situation "as an opportunity for even more training and more taming" does not sound much different to me than slowly grabbing the mouse, which fell off the desk, while having the nuts on the river in an online game with the opponent pushing all in and you having only 2 seconds left to call, just to defy emotions.
There is another way to calmness: Recognize the things you cannot change and the things you can. Applied on your situation that would mean recognizing that you have direct influence on the probability of you getting your flight, but cannot change the result, once there, whatever it may be.
you missed the flight
- Cactus Jack
- Deuces Full
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513 posts
Joined 05/07
30 seconds later, you were at Starbucks. And all was right with the world.
- mythrilfox
- Deuce High
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11 posts
Joined 01/08
hi tommy - I find your way of thinking and reacting to things very interesting, and I am wondering if there are any books in particular you read to lead you to this outlook on life or if you just decided one day you weren't going to let things affect you negatively anymore? good little journal entry, btw.
- Tommy Angelo
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57 posts
Joined 10/07
hi tommy - I find your way of thinking and reacting to things very interesting, and I am wondering if there are any books in particular you read to lead you to this outlook on life or if you just decided one day you weren't going to let things affect you negatively anymore? good little journal entry, btw.
It started with one book for me, loaned from a friend: "Full Catastrophe Living" by Jon Kabat-Zinn. That led to "Wherever You Go, There You Are" by Jon Kabat-Zinn, which motivated me to actually follow the instructions for suffering reduction in both books. After a couple weeks of meditating, I was hungry to consume every word ever written on the subject. That was five years ago, and my zeal has never waned (and neither has my bankroll). Other writers of note: Thich Nhat Hanh and Lama Surya Das.
These guys come up with and cite many very cool quotes. One of them is "A journey of a million dollars begins with a single fold." Or something like that. :-)
Tommy
- mythrilfox
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11 posts
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sounds interesting, thanks! I'll be sure to check it out ... especially the book from the mystery man who came up with that last quote there
- DonkBluffer
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6 posts
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Good stuff Tommy! I have to get into this stuff again.
- shootaa
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12 posts
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sounds pretty -ev to me. just get there and not care of result is most +ev line i blieve
- imnuts4u
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81 posts
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It started with one book for me, loaned from a friend: "Full Catastrophe Living" by Jon Kabat-Zinn.
Tommy
I ordered this book today. $20.00 + $9.00 for Shipping, Handling and Tax. If it doesn't change my life, can I get a free month as compensation?
- Tommy Angelo
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57 posts
Joined 10/07
I ordered this book today. $20.00 + $9.00 for Shipping, Handling and Tax. If it doesn't change my life, can I get a free month as compensation?
For that you would have to talk directly to a benevolent higher power.
Such as Joe Tall.
:-)
- Cblanks
- Pair of Deuces
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101 posts
Joined 03/08
dang rebates for recommended reading that flops, i love it
- StnBuddha70
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57 posts
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Thanks Tommy. Reading this made dealing with my tightly wound overly emotional, anxiety ridden boss as easy as breathing!!!
Thanks again.
- imnuts4u
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81 posts
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So, I got my book late last week. Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Over the weekend I read most of part 1 and part 2. This week, I plan on practicing the diaphragm breathing as described in ch. 3, for 15 min. per day. Next week I plan to begin incorporating some sitting meditation, as described in ch. 4, into my daily routine. I will probably start with 5 min. per day and add an additional 5 min. each week until I am up to about 20-30 min. per day. The third week, I plan to begin with the body scan and yoga (alternating from day to day). I'll let you know how things go.
- simonpoker
- Pair of Deuces
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178 posts
Joined 02/08
you missed the flight
+1
- pathwalker
- Deuce High
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5 posts
Joined 08/08
seeing that I had not missed my flight gave me a very small tinge of relief, which I have come to understand to mean that I would have felt an equally small amount of anxiety had there been no crowd. And that’s what this is all about, this mindfulness thing. It’s about little or no anxiety or unhappiness about anything
It appears that relief/anxiety are symmetrically reduced by 'this mindfulness thing'. If mindfulness can be used to reduce pain, suffering, anxiety, and similar emotions deemed to be negative, does it also, by some mechanism of symmetry, reduce joy and happiness?
I can certainly understand a desire to escape from anxiety and pain, but if it comes at the price of giving up pure joy and happiness and love, then I am probably willing to accept some pain and anxiety.
a humble student. - pathwalker
- Tommy Angelo
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57 posts
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It appears that relief/anxiety are symmetrically reduced by 'this mindfulness thing'. If mindfulness can be used to reduce pain, suffering, anxiety, and similar emotions deemed to be negative, does it also, by some mechanism of symmetry, reduce joy and happiness?
I can certainly understand a desire to escape from anxiety and pain, but if it comes at the price of giving up pure joy and happiness and love, then I am probably willing to accept some pain and anxiety.
a humble student. - pathwalker
Those are the obvious questions and you asked them well. Not surprisingly, there are answers. I "know" the answers, intellectually, and I have experienced them directly, yet I do not feel qualified to pass them on through a keyboard, but what the hell...
There are different types of joy and different types of pain. Joy and pain that are caused by attachment are, as you put it, symmetrically reduced, by mindfulness practice. Joy and pain that is experienced in the present and in full awareness is not reduced ... it is uncovered ... it is revealed.
Tommy