written by DJ Sensei DeucesCracked Coach
published over 5 years ago

So i've been in San Francisco for about 2 months playing no limit texas hold them for a living, but haven't yet played the so called "big game" of the area, the 5-5-10 game at artichoke joes. The minimum buyin to the game is $2000, and its uncapped. This is amazing, because it means there are that many more chips in front of bad players. Anyhow, the game only runs three times a week (Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, as it were). Also, I'm lazy.

Finally today I decide i'm gonna make the trip. I wake up at noon and loaf around for a while. Then I gather together my live roll, which consists of all the big-head benjamins leftover from my trip to Niagara, after I use some of the money to pay for stupid stuff like a new phone (lost the old one last weekend.) I call ahead at like 2 to get my name on the list, and ride my bike down to the subway station to take it to San Bruno, where the casino is. (I dont have a car in the city, too much of a hassle). Unfortunately, today, its raining, because its november and thats what happens in november. So I ride my bike in the rain to the station, buy a ticket, take my bike down the escalator to the platform (which is always awkward. bikes were'nt made for escalators.) Soon enough the train comes and I ride to the San Bruno station. Fortunately, its only raining a little down there on the 3 or 4 blocks to the casino.

When I get there, I drive around the casino and realize there aren't any bike racks. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. So I lock my bike to a tree next to the main entrance and go in, helmet in my left hand and crown-royal bag of hundreds in my left. Theres only one table running, so I'm expecting a wait, during which I might have to play some limited texas hold them, but I don't relish that opportunity. Fortunately as soon as I get there, a seat opens up. Coincidence? Probably not. I fill up a rack with purple hundos and blue twennies and head over. During the first hand I realize that the game is kinda weird: There are 3 blinds; 2 regular blinds of 5 and 10 and a $5 on the button. (Which, on a side note, leads to no chopping.) However, to come into the pot you have to pay at least $20. So its effectively a 10/20 game already. Also, most pots are weird in the sense that somebody usually "kills" it preflop with a $20 blind posted wherever on the table they are. Then, the minimum entrance to the pot is $40, and the killer gets to act after everyone else. kind of like a straddle, but you can do it from anywhere on the table. So usually the game is like a 20/40 ish thing. Weird.

Anyhow, I dont play many hands early, as I get a feel for the game. Turns out, everybody plays very loose and aggressive preflop (most pots were 3, 4, or more handed to the flop with a raise to $80-$140). However, they were also tight, passive, and very predictable postflop. Which means against my ultra-aggressive TAG style, they were the cake and I was the fat kid.

I start to pick up on the tendencies of the players, and waver around my $3300 buyin for a while, then I pick up a glorious AA (in a pot that i killed), made it $240 to go after several $40 "limpers", get called by a young swedish dude in late position with a regularish stack just under $2k.
Flop Q85 rainbow, I bet $300 and he calls fairly quickly. I hope he doesn't have a set. Turn comes out the ace of spades. I hope he has a set. I check, he leads $600 of his %1400 stack (jackpot) I put him in with one of the ol' "shove in my stack of hundreds thats obviously bigger than your stack" manuevers, he calls quickly, river comes something, and he mucks. other people at my end of table speculate that he had AQ. I rake in his stack and punch his ticket for the valuetown express. And its a one-way ticket.

Now i've got some chips to play with, and the entire table is giving me way too much respect. I'm like a kid in chuck-e-cheeses, except with fat stacks of chips instead of tickets and skeeball. And fortunately for me, the table's biggest spew-dude is on my immediate right, and is owning the rest of the table because they never fold their crappy hands to him and he is taking them to valuetown when he actually has a hand. like quads.

Sometime around then, spew-dude sees my bike helmet and brings up the fact that its raining outside. I say "yea, that sucks" and then somebody at the table mentions that somebody else at the table is trying to sell a car for like $2500. Possibly thinking I might just buy it there. Ha, I don't need your [censored] $2500 car. Just your $2500 stack, bitch. Unfortunately, its raining outside and my bike is not really covered. I guess my ass will get wet on the ride home.

In any case, I continue to own everybody who gets into a pot with me, because they put in too many chips preflop and not enough postflop. I also flag down a waitress and order dinner to be brought to my table: the catch of the day, mahi-mahi, with rice, a salad, and a roll, for $6. pretty sweet deal. everything else was cheap too. Unfortunately the fish sucked, and the rice was bland. Thats what $6 gets you I guess.

So over the next few hours, I do more owning, mostly of the dude on my right. Some fun examples:

I raise 7c5c UTG, laughing asian gambly dude in mp calls, moron on right calls. Flop comes 973 with one club. moron calls, I c-bet $160 or something, asian guy folds, moron thinks and calls. Seems weak. Turn another 3, he checks, I bet $300 or something, he thinks again and calls. Still seems weak. River J, he checks again, I set it out and bet $800. He thinks a lot and folds. Says something about my card also making his hand, and insinuates that he folded T8 and that I had a boat. lol. Yea right, but if he did thats hilarious.

Some time later, he raises over a kill from EP, I call with Ah6h, and the killer calls. Flop TT4 rainbow. He c-bets predictably, I think about it and realize that if he doesnt have a T (and he almost never has a T here) that he'll fire a second barrel and fold to a raise when I rep the trips. Also just calling keeps me from getting in too much trouble if the other dude hangs around. Anyhow, turn comes an 8 or something, he fires a second barrel of $360, I raise $720 on top, he folds after some deliberation. Owned.

Another hand: same asian laughy-gambly dude raises over a kill from MP, moron calls, I call with 44. Flop comes 569 with 2 hearts. I check, asian dude checks ("I didn't come close to that flop"), moron checks ("I too completely missed that flop"). Turn J, I lead $200, asian guy raises to $500, I realize that he can't have made a good hand by that turn if he wasnt there on the flop, so I repop to $1300 after moron folds and asian guy predictably folds. Owned.

Eventually moron gets up and leaves, WASPy golfer/dad at the end of the table tells us we shouldnt berate the fish. Very blatant, but I guess its a small local game and one big fish makes a lot of difference. Also, asian laughy-gambly dude and another asian dude at my end of the table had bet on the monday night football game which was on TV next to our table. They bet the under score, and for the whole game were cheering for both teams to fail so the score stayed low. Must suck to watch sports when you're just hoping both teams fail.

Anyhow, I get up and leave at 9 or so, so if my roommates are going to a bar or doing something cool I can meet up with them. Get 8k from the cashier, in big-head bennies. I guess this is a big score for a new guy here, cause people seem impressed. Maybe its because most games there are full of stacks of $1 chips and i'm rolling up with 2 racks of twenties and hundos, and a few bigass $1000 chips. Word.

I take my cash, strap on the ol' helmet, and go outside to get my bike. Its raining harder now and is dark. Lame. I ride back to the subway station, get soaking wet, and wait around for a train, where I have to stand with my bike inside because all the seats adjacent to open space for my bike are occupied. Lame. I get back to my station, carry my bike up the escalators, and ride home, wet and cold.

Got home, drank a delicious beer, ordered a pizza and a 6-pack of orange soda, and watched the daily show and colbert report until the pizza and orange soda got here.

Its tough to be a poker pro.