Ahaha! That last line is priceless.
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He really got me good on this one. I was all-in without a paddle. I was up shit creek and drawing dead. However you put it, it wasn’t pretty.
I was playing $40-80 limit hold’em at Lucky Chances. This was around 2002. Alex was at the next table, playing no-limit. He spoke to me with a hand gesture and said, “Do you want to take a break on your next big blind?†I signaled back “yes.†A few hands later, he was standing behind me, ready to go. I was under-the-gun. I looked at my cards and raised. I don’t recall how the hand went after that except for the only thing that is pertinent to the story: at some point, I folded. Then I hopped up, and outside we went.
Walking away from the table, Alex asked, “What’d you have?â€
I said, “Ace-queen.â€
He looked at me kind of funny. “Really?â€
“Yes,†I said. And then I did some splaining. I don’t know what I said, but I can do a reenactment of the basic tone and content. I said something like, “I knew when the small blind called preflop that he had at least bla-bla-bla, and that when he checkraised the flop he either had bla-bla or bla-bla, so when the bla-of-bla came on the turn, it was a no-brainer to fold.â€
I can assure you that whatever it was I said, it was all very sensible and rational. It was a perfect explanation for playing ace-queen exactly the way I did. Except for one thing… I didn’t. I mean, I didn’t have ace-queen. What I actually had was king-queen. I had lied. But not just any lie. When it comes to lying about what I had, I’m as good as they get. I can always come up with exactly the right two cards to send exactly whatever message I am trying to send, and that doesn’t matter if it’s at the end of a hand and I’m trying to get my opponents to either think I played better than I did or worse than I did, and it doesn’t matter if I’m just trying to save face, or maintain a solid image, and it doesn’t matter if I’m walking outside with my best friend. All lies are created equal as far as I’m concerned, and by that I mean equally well.
After my explanation, a couple minutes went by, and I remember it catching me off-guard when Alex asked, “So, what did you have on the last hand again?â€
“Ace-queen!†I said. “If you think I played it bad, just tell me!â€
“You really had ace-queen?â€
This is the point in our conversations where neither one of us can hold our shit together. Anytime I am getting over on him, I always give it away before it gets too deep, with a smile, or an out of context comment. And that’s what Alex did here. He has a smirk on his face, and the question was definitely totally weird at this point. I look deeply into his vicious, conniving, dastardly face, and I figured it out.
“You bastard!†I said. “You saw my hand!â€
He was doing nothing but laughing now. And then me too.
I went on. “You bent down and looked at my cards when I looked at them, and then, you asked me what I had, knowing full well that I might not come clean with having king-queen in that spot. You totally set me up! And then you forced me to tell the lie again! I guess I would feel bad right now about lying to you, except that you’re a fucking asshole you piece of shit!!â€
Tommy Angelo
Ahaha! That last line is priceless.
So under what principle do you lie to your friend about the hand? The fact you don't want him to think you make mistakes or for the practice at telling a good lie? Or is this a fictional story in which case nice story, or would you lie to me about whether it's real or not
In any which case I like the story.
So under what principle do you lie to your friend about the hand? The fact you don't want him to think you make mistakes or for the practice at telling a good lie?
Neither one. He knows how bad I play, and we both know how good I lie. Lying about my hand cards is not a conscious act. It's more like a semi-voluntary motion, like swatting a fly.
Or is this a fictional story in which case nice story, or would you lie to me about whether it's real or not
LOL! It so happens that this a true story, though you're right, it might not have been, and you're right, I could be lying right now about the story not being a lie. (Fortunately I have Spidey powers that keep me untangled at times like these.)
Tommy
Neither one. He knows how bad I play, and we both know how good I lie. Lying about my hand cards is not a conscious act. It's more like a semi-voluntary motion, like swatting a fly.
LOL! It so happens that this a true story, though you're right, it might not have been, and you're right, I could be lying right now about the story not being a lie. (Fortunately I have Spidey powers that keep me untangled at times like these.)
Tommy
"Tommy Angelo: That Bastard!" sounds like a great title for a follow-up to EOP.
At least you knew to stop lying about your hand after you got a signal that he already had you sussed.
For some reason have been known to lie even when its obvious they do not believe me. Its cost me a fortune too when you add it all up. It doesn't matter how good your lie is, knowing when to say "you bastard!" and laugh it off is what makes the difference.
Great story ![]()
Quick question unrelated to this article: can anyone point me to Tommy's article about session lengths? I'm sure I read it here but can't seem to find it. Maybe I imagined it!
TY.
Quick question unrelated to this article: can anyone point me to Tommy's article about session lengths? I'm sure I read it here but can't seem to find it. Maybe I imagined it!
TY.
Hmmm. I don't think I have an article about session lengths, but then, sometimes I write for too long at a stretch and it makes me forgetful. :-)
I do have a bit in my book on that topic. Here it is:
6. Sets, Sessions, and Breaks
A set is the amount of time between sitting down and standing up. Think of your poker life as a series of sets. A set is typically an hour long. Shorter than an hour is fine. Longer than an hour might be fine. But longer than two hours is never fine.
A session is one or more sets grouped in time. Long sessions are fine, but only for as long as you are fine, and only if done in sets.
A break is the time between sets. To take a break, remove yourself physically from the game, and also mentally. Focus your mind on something you can see or hear, or on some part of your body. What’s critical is that you stop the poker thinking, even if it’s only for a few seconds. (More on that later.) The main thing here is to think of breaks as something to practice at and get better at and do, do, do.
Hmmm. I don't think I have an article about session lengths, but then, sometimes I write for too long at a stretch and it makes me forgetful. :-)
I do have a bit in my book on that topic. Here it is:
6. Sets, Sessions, and Breaks
A set is the amount of time between sitting down and standing up. Think of your poker life as a series of sets. A set is typically an hour long. Shorter than an hour is fine. Longer than an hour might be fine. But longer than two hours is never fine.
A session is one or more sets grouped in time. Long sessions are fine, but only for as long as you are fine, and only if done in sets.
A break is the time between sets. To take a break, remove yourself physically from the game, and also mentally. Focus your mind on something you can see or hear, or on some part of your body. What’s critical is that you stop the poker thinking, even if it’s only for a few seconds. (More on that later.) The main thing here is to think of breaks as something to practice at and get better at and do, do, do.
Tommy youre too generous and also the Zen Master of Poker. Or the Zen Apprentice. Both!
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